Tuesday, August 17, 2010

broke

im fucking drowning in debt right now. im sitting on my front porch stealing wireless from some unsecured wireless network just to make this post because i dont even have money to pay the past due amount to have the internet service, let alone our "gold" cable package turned back on, its been off since sometime between last wednesday when i left for cape cod and saturday night when i returned. i just went through a fucking huge pile of mail, all bills except for a couple of pieces of shit, and i feel like a poor person.
i shouldnt though, i will say, i make decent money, above average for a recent college graduate and i do have a promising future, provided i can get the fuck out from under this pile of shit i somehow got myself into.
i havent been the most responsible kid with my money and credit. i have two fucking motorcycles in the garage, one is half taken apart, the other is brand new, im still making payments. it would have been fine to have bought the new one and have just one, but im stupid and bought the new one without having properly prepped the old one to be sold. right now it is half taken apart and needs about $300.00 worth of parts plus a little wit and elbow grease before i can even think about posting it for sale online. what a fucking huge mistake.
im also in some credit card debt. which is probably normal but one of my cards has a fucking 28.99% apr and every month i am getting fucked with interest. i am carrying the highest balance out of three cards on that one too so that sucks. i cant apply for another 0% apr card until all three of my accounts are in good standing which wont be for another month at least.
i find myself paralyzed when i start thinking about this. my mind goes so fast and i start thinking about stuff like, how am i going to maintain relationships, be happy, do stuff, etc. if i cant get myself out of this situation? what has my life become? i used to be good, i would pay half of my balance on a credit card in one fucking shot, what happened?
i gotta go, to be continued.....

No comments:

Post a Comment